By Denise Boggs Rejection is like a very painful disease; it can strike any one at any time. We will be looking at rejection that occurs during childhood that has a lingering pain even into adulthood. Children and adults have the need to be loved and accepted. Rejection occurs when these needs are neglected or overlooked. At the time you experience rejection, it is painful, but even more painful is the long-term affect of living as if you are rejected. Rejection is experienced when the significant people in our lives refuse to see how important their love and acceptance really is. Rejection may come as a result of actual abandonment and neglect, or just simply a lack of affection. Children can experience rejection, and feel abandoned during a divorce or separation when the children are separated from one or both parents. Abandonment leaves you feeling all alone and unwanted. This feeling can also be felt in a home where parents are preoccupied, and unaware that the childrens emotional needs of love and acceptance are not being met. Rejection can also occur in a home where parents are caring, but because the parents did not receive affection and touch from their parents, they are unable to show love by affectionate touches and affirming words. This will cause a child to feel the same feelings of rejection as the child down the street whose father is never at home. A father or mother, who is in the home, but emotionally unavailable and not present, can be as hard on a child as if the parent was gone. Rejection creates a deep wounding that is very painful. The pain from the experience of rejection will not just go away without healing. Many people are stuck, or locked in time, desperately needing to be set free from the pain of past rejections. Until healing occurs, you will live life as if you are still being rejected. Pain holds you to the time when you experienced the rejection. This causes you to feel as if you are still being rejected today even though it has been 20 years since the original rejection occurred. Rejection is not Rejection is not a sign of weakness, although those who suffer from the pain of rejection over time become weary and even weak. Jesus understands your pain because He too experienced rejection. He came to his own and his own did not receive him. John 1:11
The rejection from His own people lasted for three years until He went to the cross. On the cross, He cried Father, why have you forsaken me? He felt all of our pain at that moment; however, His last words were it is finished. He died, and rose again on the third day making full acceptance possible. We are no longer rejected; we are fully accepted in Him! I can now say that I have experienced the pain of rejection, but I know that I am not rejected. Jesus made provision for our complete healing. He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. (Psalm 147:3) Bring your pain to Jesus Christ and release it to Him. Dont just forget it One way many people try to get rid of pain is to just forget what happened, and try to block out the person who hurt them. You can tear that person out of your address book, and for a while you will be able to forget what happened; but if healing did not occur, the pain is still there. The pain that lingers from the past keeps you tied to the past. Isaiah, the prophet, said in Isaiah 1:4-6 that those people who have not been healed will end up going backwards. Like taking one-step forward and then two steps backward, you arent getting anywhere. Dont just run from it Another way many people deal with pain is to run from it or pretend it really isnt there. Pain is like a shadow, you look around and it is still there no matter how fast you run. That is why so many people are walking around with the shadow of the past still on them. Pain must be faced and dealt with in order for it to be put away. Instead of running from pain, stop, turn around and face it. Face it Pain must be faced to be healed. You may be one who has received some healing, but the pain still remains. The losses you have experienced in the rejection are one source of pain. You cannot forgive completely until you grieve what you have lost. As long as you still feel the pain, there is still more to grieve and release. Healing is like peeling an onion, with tears you peel it one layer at a time. Jeremiah says, from the prophet to priest They have healed the hurt of my daughter slightly, saying peace, peace, when there is no peace. (Jeremiah 6:13-14) The amount of peace you have can be a good indicator of how much healing you have received. Healing For steps to healing go to livingwatersministry.com For further healing on this subject, may we suggest the following CDs:
Forgiveness
The Pain of the Unmet Needs For Complete article on Rejection http://www.livingwatersministry.com/articles.php?viewtype=read&trans=18
Denise Boggs is an author, teacher, and director of Living Waters Ministry. She writes a daily devotional call The Path Called Righteousness.
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